When you run out of patience . . .
I’m getting old (even though I am probably a slower social skills learner), But I have learned that when you run out of patience the go-to reaction is not:
- frustration
- anger
- rage
- attack
- immediate verbal response
- backing people into a corner
- anything that I know I have personally higher level of regret for.
My right reaction is recalling my personal values and then executing them. I rarely regret taking a principled stand.
So, when I run out of patience I try to remember my values tell me to:
- breathe in and wait.
- respond after taking a deep breath.
- Ask a (leading?) question before stating a position.
- listen.
- negotiate – what moves the plan forward for now?
- use the word ‘and’ not ‘but’ to connect and move forward with full or partial disagreement.
- be kind . . . always.
- respond to the positions, ideas, and POV – not ad hominem.
- Attempt to view their point-of-view from their shoes.
- Be aware of false positions, cognitive thinking styles, and argumentation styles.
- try to always call out ‘isms.
- respond to misinformed opinion with facts, information, and personal insight.
- don’t make mountains out of molehills. Die on the big hills, not the molehills.
- Live to live another day
Sometimes, I tell myself this is maturity but it isn’t. It is survival. It is the result of my upbringing and life-long learning and experiences.
I’m sharing this (as you’ve probably guessed) to remind myself about my own values. I need it this week.
Here’s the graphic that inspired me:
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