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When you run out of patience . . .

When you run out of patience . . .

I’m getting old (even though I am probably a slower social skills learner), But I have learned that when you run out of patience the go-to reaction is not:

  • frustration
  • anger
  • rage
  • attack
  • immediate verbal response
  • backing people into a corner
  • anything that I know I have personally higher level of regret for.

My right reaction is recalling my personal values and then executing them.  I rarely regret taking a principled stand.

So, when I run out of patience I try to remember my values tell me to:

  • breathe in and wait.
  • respond after taking a deep breath.
  • Ask a (leading?) question before stating a position.
  • listen.
  • negotiate – what moves the plan forward for now?
  • use the word ‘and’ not ‘but’ to connect and move forward with full or partial disagreement.
  • be kind . . . always.
  • respond to the positions, ideas, and POV  – not ad hominem.
  • Attempt to view their point-of-view from their shoes.
  • Be aware of false positions, cognitive thinking styles, and argumentation styles.
  • try to always call out ‘isms.
  • respond to misinformed opinion with facts, information, and personal insight.
  • don’t make mountains out of molehills.  Die on the big hills, not the molehills.
  • Live to live another day

Sometimes, I tell myself this is maturity but it isn’t.  It is survival.  It is the result of my upbringing and life-long learning and experiences.

I’m sharing this (as you’ve probably guessed) to remind myself about my own values.  I need it this week.

Here’s the graphic that inspired me:

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Posted on: September 21, 2020, 1:50 pm Category: Uncategorized

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